Get OVER it Already!

Okay, so I'm probably going to get in trouble for this post. That's okay. You are welcome to leave me a comment about how wrong I am, I'm tough, I can take it. Or if you don't like it just scroll on passed and don't read it. It's amazing how that works these days! Am I right?

Anyway, the other day when I was shuttling my kids around. My 5YO said something that startled me. Okay back up a bit. I have to admit...I was complaining a bit under my breath about something their father forgot to do. I don't remember what it was that he forgot, so I guess it wasn't super important. However in my mind, it must have been at the time, (not really). Anyway, what startled me is when my 5YO said, "Yeah momma! Daddy doesn't DO anything! All he does is mow the lawn, and THAT'S ALL! YOU do everything else!!!" This statement from her broke my heart. Why? Because she is getting that idea from me! I mean who else is giving her thoughts like that!? There is no self righteous stay at home mommy fairy whispering in her ear after all!

Here is the part I'm going to get in trouble for. As stay at home parents, we tend to get a little sanctimonious don't we? I mean lets admit it! I read articles upon articles about how hard it is to be a stay at home parent. Matter of fact an article I just finished reading centered on the idea of how a messy and chaotic house is perfectly okay for the stay at home parent. You know, because we are so busy! Well, I'm crying foul! I'm crying foul on that idea as well as the idea of our spouses having it so easy since they work outside the house!

Now come on, lets be real here. BOTH jobs are hard. But do you know what's hard? When you work 8 to 10 hours a day outside the home. Your performance decides whether you can make your house payment, car payment, buy clothes, gas, groceries and all of the other necessities for your family. You may even work in a place that is hot year around so you are sweating all day. And your job may be physically hard leading to hurt and sore muscles. Also, you have to deal with adult style politics in the work place. THEN after working your 8 to 10 hour shift you come home to a messy house, messy and screaming children. You come home to a spouse who is complaining about how hard their day was. All you want to do is get a moment to yourself to wind down! But you can't because there is a huge pile of laundry on your bed, or on the couch, and you step on a stray lego on your way there. To top it all off your spouse has a list of things ready to go for you to help out with around the house.

In my humble opinion, that's not even a fair scenario. Yet stay at home parents are writing articles and blogs trumpeting about how hard it all is! How everyone looks down on us! And how people including our work outside the home spouses need to just get OVER it! Our jobs are HARD! HARD! HARD!

Well, you know what?!?! As stay at home parents WE need to get over ourselves! When our work outside the home spouses get home, we need to make it part of our job to provide a soothing environment for them. It's okay to ask for equal rights, but extra rights in this marriage partnership? Don't even pretend it's okay.

Back to my 5YO. I explained to her about how her daddy contributes each day to our family,  and how we need to appreciate it. Daddy works hard for us to make sure we have everything we need and many things we want. I stressed how what daddy does is incredibly important and worthwhile. I also learned that I need to be more positive in front of the children even when I'm frustrated. It's my job to make sure they know that their daddy works very hard outside and inside our home.

I also need to give credit to my husband more often! He works hard at a very stressful job, yet his girls never see his frustration! Yes! He deserves a quiet, clean, peaceful environment to relax in for a bit before he spends time with his girls. So you know what? I'm going to go fold and put away that load of laundry I just dumped on the bed. I'm also going to check the floor for stray legos. Then I'm going to wipe my children's faces, get dinner started, and pick up a bit. Daddy will be home in about 20 minutes.

P.S. If you are a stay at home parent who is overwhelmed and living in chaos, I can direct you to some great tools to help! Just let me know :-)